I’m not entirely sure that’s even unfair really. I’ve never went and dug through interviews, especially more recent ones, but the degree to which this is shamelessly a Disney Princess movie is astonishing. It’s unmistakably Bluth’s art influence and has some of his particular flourishes, especially in the dark moments, but no mistake, he’s making someone else’s movie here.
And of course, being a Disney Princess affair means… let the anvils ring!
A Rumor in St. Petersburg- There’s such an air of artificiality to this. I don’t know why, but something about the backgrounds and setting that make all the choreographed dancing stick out in the worst way. Could be the mood whiplash too. But I think it’s something about the setting, like the street there flags as “now” and a real place, so the fake behavior stands out. Could also just be since I’m using kinda a cheapo copy so the actual video quality isn’t meshing right, but I think it’s just the presentation falling apart.
Journey to the Past- The exposition right before this is also pretty dire. I’m suddenly thinking Bluth was taking the piss with this whole operation. Like god damn, this is practically this except Anastasia is actually a movie that exists, and it has about the same sense of really TRYING to miss the point this hard thanks to following the formula. I mean it doesn’t help that the song is weak as hell too, but yeah, I’m already kinda in the wrong mindset for song by the time it starts.
Once Upon a December- Gosh I remember liking this one quite a bit. It’s pretty good, although I had utterly forgotten why. It’s haunting really. There’s an echo on everything that gives it a sort of horror movie vibe, it’s unreal and something disastrous is coming. Like this sells the base concept of the backstory in a way showing the events didn’t.
In the Dark of the Night- Why is there a bug civilization in evil wizard limbo? In fact the whole part where the bugs are a chorus is distracting. You have like the green glowy goblin dudes, you couldn’t anthropomorphize them? Or have Bartok do accompaniment?
Sidebar; oh man Bartok is like Hunchback Gargoyles tier. Which is sad because hey, a character for Rasputin to talk against and question his plans is fine, but he’s always on and it just comes back to being artificial.
Learn to Do It (/Reprise)- Montage! We’re friends, we’re all friends here, thank you. Actually aside from the reprise, I’m not sure what this is doing here. Sure, sure, set up princess training and how easily Anya takes to it. But… why ride bikes? Horseback? The only one that actually does make sense is the reprise part really. Although Dimitri does fall flat on his face, maybe that’s the important part.
Paris Hold the Key- Okay, Paris being a perpetual ongoing street circus makes waaaay more sense than St. Petersburg doing it. … holy shit they’re in a Monet. Daaaamn. Okay like… nooone of the rest of the movie does this. There’s a bit of a disconnect between backgrounds, characters, and inanimate objects, but a lot of that is CG blending and the movie being from 1997 and, as I recall, Fox Animation only having like three films total and Fox being notorious cheapskates. Or maybe some of the other songs use famous artists as backgrounds but I’m too uncultured to catch anyone but Monet. I dunno.
Y’know, they really got into making new outfits for Anya. Makes sense since they’re doing Disney Princess, but actually they have some really tasteful designs here, it’s great.
The ending meanwhile sure is a thing that happens. Especially the part where the animal sidekick does the real hard work of setting it up while the final win is a layup, just stepping on something that’s already literally underfoot.
I dunno. As fakey as it can be, as often as that kicked me right out of things, and much as they sanitize the historical background so much I remain convinced the understatements are master theses on the art of sarcasm (embers of unhappiness, really? Really?) There’s a certain charm to this. I like Bluth’s human designs, you can see a lot of effort into some interesting bits of the film, the main emotional climaxes moooore or less work. You do, in the end, want these people to be okay and find some measure of peace.
Rating- 5/10. Split the difference? Sure, split the difference.
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